Worst Weekend of my Life

I thought it is going to peaceful. I've been so tired. Cos my P is not here yet. Girls you know how it feels right? I just needed alot of rest. But there were so much to do on Saturday. The weather was crap. It was humid, cold and warm.

Every 2 weeks, we go out. He drinks, I don't. I keep myself awake to drive all home. I'm cool. But this week, I had a backache. It hurts alot. I'm tired, physically and mentally. I just wanted my own time, watch dramas and rest whenever.

He said he was cool. But I know he wasn't. I wanted to go at 9:30pm he said ok. I waited. 11:30pm. I said we better go. There's church and I'm on duty. He was so damn reluctant. Walking to the car, he asked "you sure you wanna go... we are having so much fun" Yes not what my back hurts and I was so damn tired. Cos I know it was going to last till 3-4am. I was so angry. He doesn't want to go even though he said he was cool. It was up to me. It was all lies. I told him I should just go home myself and he can go party. He said OK (with heaps of anger). Yes I drove home from Subi. I never driven home from Subi before. I was hell scared. It was late. I drove to a small street to put up the Ps. Damn thing won't stick to the window. I can't find my license. I was all alone! I tried to recall the way we went home. Luckily, there wasn't any booze bus. Not that I was drinking. But I have no Ps and no license with me. I had no phone too. I did drive back to the same spot where he left me. He didn't wait. He went into the club and joined his friends.

I went home, showered and waited my hair to dry. I was scared. What if he didn't go back to the club? What if he was taken away from bad people? Cos I know he had quite a few drinks, a few glasses of wine and scotch. He said he was sober. I don't believe. He didn't even ring me. I waited. I tried to sleep. But my heart was pounding so damn fast. I was scared. At 2:30am, I gave up. I couldn't sleep. I continued my Korean drama. 3.00am, he msged me and said he was sorry and asked me to take all of them home. I hope the words were not there. I hope he didn't mean it. He left me driving home, partied till 3am. Made me waited 4 hours and all he said he was sorry, he wanted me to drive everyone home. I was furious! So damn furious! I tried to think straight. Maybe I was being petty. But since I've got my license. This is our life. Nearly every 2 weeks, he drinks like there's no tomorrow and I waited and drive him home. As I said I was cool. This time my back just hurts.

I didn't reply. I was waiting. I was scared. He could have just taken a cab home. Who cares? Why should I always be the one bothering so much? I was angry. I couldn't let it go. 4am. He tried to open the door. No he didn't have any keys. He gave it to me when I had to drive home. Did he think I was so cool about it? He wasn't even sober enough to think he hasn't got the keys. I told him to get lost. I didn't let him in. Outside was cold. But he was colder. The temperature suits him. I didn't care but I was scared. 5am, he continues tapping the window, all around the house. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I think it was nearly 6am, when I was about to fall asleep, the tapping continue. I opened the door and let him in. My mind and body were so tired. I couldn't think anymore.

Next morning, both of us missed church. I woke up with backache. I tried not to think about it. I watched Korean dramas all day. Till around 4pm, I chased him out of the house. I was angry. I didn't want him around. He left and came back at 6ish. I asked him to leave. At 7pm, I felt bad. I wonder where he went. Was he even scared and upset? I rang him at 7:05pm. "Where are you" "Hey, I'm going out with my friend for dinner"

Ok I'm going nuts. Then I had alot of missed calls from my mum. I was going crazy. I was crying and crying. What is wrong with everyone!!?!?! What is wrong with him? What have I done ?!?! Finally I answered the phone. Mum was nice.. worried. I was crying on the phone. Trying to keep it cool though. I hanged up. I cried even louder. I was going insane. I think very hard. What went wrong? Was it my fault? All day, he didn't even say a thing to me. He said he was sorry. That was it. It was so simple. All the crap I went through, he was sorry. He won't even know what he was apologising for.

At 9pm, he came home. I couldn't be bothered anymore. I slept at about 10. We went to work separately. He tried to apologise again when we met at the traffic lights. But I know, this time it was different. I had enough.